Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
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Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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