Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment