Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
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juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
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In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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