Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
