Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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