I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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