she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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