i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
