She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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