ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
