She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
