Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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