My first STD was from a foam party
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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