one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
