yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
