i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
