Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish you could order shots online.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
