She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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