At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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