well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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