I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My bed smells like the plague
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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