you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
