I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
