I must be too annoying 4 u.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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