which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
