so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Help. Why am I so naked?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
