your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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