My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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