Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
