I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
