dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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