she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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