i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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