Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
