this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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