You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
