everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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