That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
