My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
