I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
