If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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