well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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