the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
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I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
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lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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