he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
