...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
