i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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