she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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