just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I want to have your abortion
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
