carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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