He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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