omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
