I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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