Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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