What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
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I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
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I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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