So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize