Christians are straight up FREAKS
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
