Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
